HVH3 #99 Hash Trash
HVH3 Hash #:99 "HappyValley's Nein Nein/Flutter and Drill Me Sgt!'s Bon Voyage Hash / Anti-Coch's 44th B-Day Hash".
Start: Some little white church on Amherst Road in Pelham.
When: July 29, 2004 Posted as 1830HRs, actual Hash Time of about 1900 Hrs. ( Prompt as usual )
Hare: Comes On Vacation.
Pack: Anti-Coch, Cainus Lickus, Col. Mustard, Dewey Do Me!, Drill Me Sergeant!, Hand Job!, Just Scott ( 2nd Hash?), Madame Flutterby, Mr.Hankey, Packed Fullah Seamen.
Visitors: Garfield ( Hardfarts ), High Bush ( Hardfarts)
Hash Hounds: Ellie May, Scruffy, and Zuni.
Hare was away when Dewey and I arrived at about 1845HRs. Wankers in the parking lot next to the church, were pre-lubing with Ruddles Ale and Paulaner Hefe-Weizen. ( Yum-Yum! )
It was nice to see such a large pack present. There were some trailriders on bikes there too, but we couldn't coax them to cum running for beer and glory. I think we did a song or something before we began the evenings trek in search of beer.
Trail led down some road that saw those nasty contour line things actually descending for once instead of escalating. The FRBs ran into a confusing check that had Flutter, Just Scott and Myself looking all over the place for trail, when On-On was heard shouted by Cainus, Hand Job? and Mr. Hankey. The rest of the pack had been searching too, so we reassembled and ambled on into the deep dark woods. We soon ran past a familiar waterhole that is actually part of the Amherst Reservoir system. The route then ran a twisty turny trail alongside a brook and on into the first beercheck. The beer was really good stuff, i.e. Beamish, Ruddles, and Guiness. I think there was one or two cans of Lite for those who wanted water.
Cainus then spotted true trail behind a pumping station and that led downhill and across a little valley before trail re-appeared on some ass-fault. The ass-fault leg took us by the scene of last years ( or was it two years ago? ) "Stairway to Hell". Trail continued uphill on the ass-fault and then turned right back into the woods. Trail led to the scene of Virgin Tim's first encounter with a missed beer check ( Is that why he never came back?) and that is where last night's beercheck No.2 was. This was a Krieg Raspberry Lambic Check. The check was on a knoll above a pristine pool of gurgling mountain stream water. The temptation was too much for Packy and myself, so we took a swim, er ah, sort of, ya see it was a friggin cold mountain stream pool! Packy almost slid down ass first into the pool because he slipped on a mossy boulder thing.
Trail then went back toward "A", but not before the light began to fade. We reached a water obstacle that had slippery rocks and a brook to cross. Most wankers took that route. Dewey slipped in, but managed to catch herself in a gentle fall. Hand Job?, Mr Hankey and Myself, took another route which eventually had me crossing a moss covered dam to rejoin the pack. HJ and Mr Hankey circumvented the whole pond.
This led everybody to the last check, which was a champagne and cake check. The cake was a sheet cake with "So Long Flutter & Drill Me Sgt!" written on it. The cake and champagne were good as was swimming in the pond. ( If you live in Amherst, I'd drink bottled water for a coupla weeks).
Trail then crossed one more mossy stream and ambled back to "A".
From "A" we caravaned to the Hare's abode for the circle and a feast served by the Hare and Cainus Lickus. Just Scott had brought a mini keg of delicious brew from his microbrewery. Circle included the following exhortations: (Not necessarily in this order.) Hare in the middle. Down Down for the Hare. I Think comments and ratings worked it out to about a 6.9 rating. Next was awarding the hash shit, which I'm beginning to feel is becoming attached to my anatomy. I had to do a down down for some merciless reason or something. Next was a carry over down down, myself getting accused of some flagrant violation at the Buffett hash. Next was a birthday down down, again, I was screwed! Luckily the next down down was for backsliding. Two wankers stepped forward Mr. Hankey and Packed Fullah Seamen. ( Packed Fullah Seamen stepped forward saying something to the effect of since this is his mother hash he'd do a down down for backsliding rather than as a visitor. The pack let this chance for two down downs go by, strange ain't it? Anyway, next was a visitors down down which Garfield and High Bush did. Next was the Bon Voyage couples turn. Drill Me Sergeant and Madame Flutterby did their duty.
Next on the agenda was awarding Madame Flutterby and Drill Me Sergeant two really cool looking engraved mugs. They were pleasantly surprised by the mugs ( and BTW, COV & Cainus, you guys did a nice job with those things! ) The engraved mugs had their names on them and Happy Valley stuff. Garfield and High Bush also presented them with The Dummy's Guide to Germany, which everyone signed for the occasion.
It was also my birthday and I was very surprised to be given a bottle of Scottish Malt Whiskey by COV and Cainus. Thank You very much you guys, I was very surprised and it was much appreciated. This was B-Day No.44 for those who keep track of old age on other people.
I think that brought us to religion, which we sang very loudly and clearly.
Next, we feasted on BBQ'ed boneless pork ribs ( which tasted fantastic! ) and a big spread of salads and ears of corn. This was followed by like four cakes.
All in all it was another really fun, great HVH3 Hash!!!!
Our next hash will be Thursday night, August 12. Start will be at the end of Plains Road in the Montague Plains. Go to the end of Plains Road and park under the power lines. ( The entrance to Plains road is opposite the Montague Fish Hatchery) Check a western mass atlas or go to the website for erections. 1830 HRs. We will have at least two virgins there that night. Guarantee!
Nein! Nein!
Anti-Coch
HVH3 Scribe
ON-ON
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