HVH3 #87 Hash Trash
(The Hash Previously known as HVH3 #79)
Date: Saturday March 27, 2004
Hare: Canis Lickus
Start: parking lot behind the soccer field at Northampton H.S. ( Off Milton Street) Start Time, about 12:30.
The Pack: Anti-Cock, Mother's Beaver? ( I have a mental block on H's name; can somebody do an addendum or shoot me a note with her real hash name please), Cajonas, Comes On Vacation, Madame Flutterby, Scruffy, and Zuni.
The Hare axed fo' a 15 minute cranium start, and his request was not so graciously acceded to. Doh! Meanwhile, it was a beautiful day in Northampton. The temperature felt like high 60's and sunny. We had some Magic Hat No.9 and tried to stretch out a whole winters worth of sloven and debauched living.
( Authors note: I had stepped on a big rusty nail about two hours before the hash, so the Magic Hat was strictly for Medicinal purposes.)
The pack left on trail and proceeded down some ass fault, but quickly found a nice, oozy, muddy trail alongside the Mill River. ( It's like every town in Western Mass has a stream called "The Mill River", just in case yer wondering...) Trail followed the River for about a mile, mile and a half with some deviously well placed falses, most of which went uphill, so we naturally assumed they'd be true trail. I myself got off trail and fell behind the pack after checking two too many falses. Trail soon led to the pond below the Greenhouse on the Smith College campus. By the way, it was such a nice day out, that people were kayaking in the river, softball games were being played at Smith College and tons of people were out jogging, walking dogs, etc.
Since I was behind the pack I had to stop and check every check mark. Some were labeled with true trail signs, and others had personal signs like, MF->, or C->, so those wern't bad. I did miss one though, the one before the bridge across the river, and that sent me as far as the street, past the dyke. ( Yea, I know, it was Smith College, but I mean a real "earthen" Dyke.)
Trail then crossed the river and made a left by the track and soccer fields. Some buildings came up, and I thought perhaps I was near salvation (the BN) but that was not the case. Trail ran past some parked busses and then along the far side of the 1/4 mile track. It was here that I ran into Comes On Vacation, Zuni, and Scruffy. They were coming back from a long false check.
Trail then went uphill onto the grounds of the abandoned Northampton State Mental Hospital. A couple of falses had us checking in and around various abandoned buildings, but within about ten minutes COV had spotted true trail, which of course led us down a slippery, muddy, covered in wet leaves slope, back down to the river. Trail was laid over a partially frozen skunk weed swamp.Nice, very nice! [ "Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit..."] Trail then ran westerly, before it again went up that same slope. We ran to a small trail junction where we again joined Cajonas, Madame Flutterby and Heather/Beaver/ whatever her damn hash name is, which is the one I have a mental block of.
They had found a back check four and were searching in a clockwise fashion for the trail. I spotted trail off to the side of the trail and we proceeded thru some woods, across a ravine, and then uphill to the beercheck which was behind an old building at NoHo State Hospital. ( If you've ever seen the Charlize Theron, Toby Maguire Movie, "the Cider House Rules", then you've seen where we were.)
The wabbit had left behind some delightfully refreshing Old Speckled Hen, Murphys Irish Stout and some other really good beers.
Since we all had been on trail longer than expected by the Hare ( Because falses, and that back check thing) he met us at the beer check and we opted to finish the trail and do the circle.
We held circle at the Hospital grounds and the violations and such were nominated. I some how was declared the FRB, though I may here note, I was technically not the first person to put their hands on a beer...COV was FBI and Heather/ Beaver/? was LBI and DFL. BTW, first to last was a matter of seconds.
Anways, I also nominated MF with a violation for not bringing the Hash Shit, but he informed us/ reminded us, that it's actually the major league, backsliding Mother's Little Douche Bag who has the hash shit! ( Ways to show MLDB our "love" were discussed. If you know what is bad for you, you'd better pick the time and place - before we do...) Speaking of backsliding, Cajonas joined those in the center for a down-down. When it was the turn of the Hare in the middle, I attempted to pour some beer in his vessel, but he some how managed to wear more of it than drink it. ( I really was just trying to pour it in your mug which you held over your cranium, but you kept moving).
About this time we sang Swing Low to the delight of some innocent bystanders, but then we were observed by the long arm of the Apparatchnick security gurads. So we froze in place, except for Cajonas who hid his vessel in his "dockers", if you know what I mean. This ruge worked and the evil guards went away.
We drove back to the SP and then proceeded to The Office in Williamsburg/Northampton. This is a little dive of a bar, old guys were playing poker in a back room, biker types hanging at the bar, etc. Hasher ambiance everywhere. Cainus ordered a pitcher of Magic Hat and there was free popcorn by the score. COV ordered some pizzas delivered and a good time was had by all. I had to leave a little early, so that by 3:45 no one had been ejected and no brawls had begun. I did have a little run in with a local PD on the ride home, but that turned out OK, with just a "keep the speed down next time", alright, thanks...
Till next time, which will be two weeks, Saturdy, April 10th at Cajonas' in Belchertown. Hartford should be next weekend, their time and place TBA.
Hummingly Yours,
Anti-Cock
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