HVH3 #82 Hash Trash "DC Area Red Dress Run Outstation Hash"
(The Hash previously known as HVH3 #74)
HVH3# 82
October 3rd thru 5th the HVH3 contingent participated in the 10th Anal
DC Area Red Dress Run.
On Friday morning Oct. 3rd, Cainus Lickus and Comes On Vacation picked me up at my humble abode and then the debauchery began to flow, all the way down to DC. We began the ride with a epicurean selection of fine brews, ales and stouts mostly. Ruddles and Guiness because it's good for you.
Climbing to an altitude of about three feet, we caught a tail wind that allowed us to get to DC in just 7 hours.
This early arrival time was unexpected, so we circled the neighborhood of our host, Lee, and found a parking spot directly opposite his house on 17th NW and S St. It's a nice neighborhood, part of the area known as Dupont Circle. ( Yes, the locals were friendly, very friendly...)Coincidentally we parked alongside a dog park.
We decided to walk down to the Exchange Ltd. This was the bar where the Friday night Lingerie Hash was to be held. We walked down 17th a ways, and got to the bar in time to see a lot of scantily clad hashers arrive. About a block before the bar, we ran into two Boston Hashers, Shine On Harvard Moon being one of them. After arrival at the Exchange, Shine On and I convened a meeting of the Boston Crack House Harriers. COV felt like a voyeur but I was enjoying that role. Beers were five bucks a pop, so we decided to pay the $25 that allowed you to drink until the kegs were dry and have munchies too.
We walked over to some park and watched the circle and beginning of the Hash. We then walked back to the Exchange as this was an AtoA hash. More and more hashers arrived, until the bar looked like a Victorias Secret catalog ala Rocky Horror. Anyway, the beer flowed and then we got caught up in some sort of weird space time / continuim vortex thingy, via a craft known as Jack Daniels and Jaegermeister. Next thing I know it's Saturday morning at 10 a.m. And we hurt!
COV decided we should do a breakfast, so we walked down to the Moscow Safeway ( Long lines, and nothing on the shelves) and got eggs, bacon, croissants, butter, and OJ. I picked up some champagne and more Ruddles Ale. We went back to Lees and did breakfast and Mimosas and 600 mg Motrins.
After a long time to prepare we walked to the Metro and discovered the escalator was broken. We had to walk down what seemed like a five story buildings worth of mirage like stairs. Luckily I didn't toss my cookies on the stairs or in the subway. The Metro brought us right into Union Station, which is right next door to the Capitol City Brewery.
At the Brewery, we checked in and left all our gear in a side room. At this point we donned our Red Dress attire and joined the throngs as we assembled in a parking lot about a block away. The starting circle was HUGE!!! Even so the Hares were using those electronic megaphones, you couldn't hear them over the crowd noise. It was actually very hard trying to keep track of one another, because everybody was wearing red dresses. I lost sight of Cainus and COV a few times. We ran into a few Boston hashers, and did see the Jizzmopper with his skull before it was stolen. He and Anal Avenger were getting the crowd to chant "NumbSkull! - Numbskull!!" before someone brazenlly stole his skull baton.
Eventually the pack was off, and trail initially circled around the backside and under the Union Station railroad tracks. Trail then ran towards the north side of the Capitol building then westerly, about two blocks north of the Mall. A zillion Hashers clad in Red Dresses managed to stop traffic and give on-lookers quite a sight. The look on the faces of the tourists and locals alike made the trip worth it.
BTW, Hashers were clad in everything from simple red shorts and sweats to elaborate drag queens with parasols, stockings, highheels, wigs, etc. People did the hash in everything from shopping carts to golf carts. "There are no typical hashers" at an event like that.
Trail eventually turned south and crossed the mall just east of where Laura Bush was holding a national book event. We ran east along and in the Mall then south of the Capitol building. Trail then went east to a residential neighborhood.
Sometimes the Police would hold traffic back so we could cross, but mostly the pack was spread out way too long for that. At about this point I was keeping pace with Doggie Style from the Summit hash and Fucks Like a RRrrrabbit from the Boston Hash.
Trail turned back towards the NW or west just before the Beer Check at a gay bar called, "Remingtons". There were two floors to this bar and both were jam packed with hundreds of Hashers. Even the sidewalk out front was packed. I ran into CL out front and eventually we found COV. We pushed or way in and then made our way upstairs, where Hashers were doing bawdy dances on the bar and singing "Scary-Oki". ( Mostly to Gay bar standards) We satyed there quite awhile, but for me it was too crowded and too sweaty, so I went outside, sipped some cold water, and hung out with Piss Stop (BH3) and a hasher from Copenhagen. Return trail was marked so we decided to cranium back to the On In. It started to drizzle on the way back, but the rain didn't amount to much before it stopped.
On arrival back at Capitol City, a hard rocking band was doing cool covers of everything from Janis Joplin & Led Zeppelin, to the Talking Heads and original stuff. Wrist bands got you a heaping plate of chow and access to bottomless amounts of brewskis. Piss Stop, Copenhagen and I joined a table full of Boston Hashers on the veranda and chowed down and greeted Hashers as they came back to the bar.
This entire time, I was still hurting from the night before, so I was taking it easy as far as partying goes. Lots of people were getting really trashed at the Beercheck. ( I was offered by Poodle Fucked ( WH3) a paper cup full of Tequila but declined.)
Anyway, the drinking and carousing, eating and dancing continued until about 2115HRs. When we were all tossed out of the bar. Lee had joined us by then, and he suggested an Irish bar that was Katty-corner from Capitol City. We strolled over early enough to get a table where we could watch the Rad Suxx beat the A's in game 4. There was also a guitar player doing old Irish tunes, but who switched to Hash classics as more and more hashers arrived. This added to the amusement of the regular bar patrons, especially when the guitar player did Swing Low, and all the hashers acted out the lyrics. I noticed a sign saying that the bar had 20c wings until 2200Hrs, so I ordered 20 but the waiter brought us a heaping platter! We ended up sharing them with the entire bar. At some point, Sponge Bath Square Pants joined us, but since "What happened in Washington, stays in Washington", I won't go into that!
At some point this bar also got way packed with hashers, so we decided to go back to Lee's and change, then go to another bar, then go to Anal Avenger's place. On the cab ride back, COV had a rapturous talk with the cabbie, who was originally from Nigeria. They discussed Nigerian politics, and economics and then - Nigerian and West African food. Hence, from e'r forward COV should also be AKA, "Comes On Vacation & Pounds The Fu-Fu" Apparently if women pound the Fu-Fu, it builds arm muscles, and once you try it, you discover it tastes great!
We got back to Lee's, changed, and then walked to Larry's Lounge. Cainus ordered a round of Bass Ales, and we all practically dozed off right then and there. We decided there was no way we could do Anal's, so we walked back to Lee's and crashed hard.
The next morning Lee took us all out for breakfast to a really good steak and chop house on 17th St. We packed up and left by noon and made it back to Amherst by 1900HRs. Again, catching a good tail wind and no traffic. We went to the China Dynasty restaurant for dinner on Rte 9 and University Drive, then Headed home. (Yup, I said it) [ BTW,Cainus - one of your sneakers fell out of the car into our driveway. I have it here.]
We had a really good time, and hope to do it again next year. It was also alot of fun seeing so many hashing friends and aquaintances from all over the country. It was also nice sharing a common bond with all the New England hashers who made it down, as there were so many of us! ( Even if so many of them are Rad Suxx fans, who know that this whirlwind ride stops tonight in the Bronx!)
"Yankees pennant in five games" (Yankees SUCK! -.ed)
Your Not So Humble Scribe
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