HVH3 #52 Hash Trash
(The Hash Previously known as HVH3 #47)
Thursday, June 13, 2002 Meetinghouse Pelham, MA
Oops!
Were y'all serious about me being Hash recorder or sumtin'? If so, here
goes...
Cainus and C.O.V. met us at that meetinghouse on Pelham road for HVH3's Hash
No.47( deflower me if I'm wrong wit da No.) The lucky Hashers for Cainus
Lickus' innaugural Hash laying as GM were: Cainus Lickus, Came On Vacation,
Madame Flutterby, Throbbing Member (Visiting from Great Falls Hash,
Wash.,D.C.), Hand Job ("Anyone?"), myself [Anti-Cock], and Hash virgin NFN
Tim.
After the usual pre-Hash erections and chalk talk, the Co-Hares axed for a
ten minute Head ( "Who said...") start, and unexplainedly, were given about
a ten minute cranium start.
Madame Flutterby led the circle in a rousing rendition of "I Work In A
Button Factory", as we squeezed the last few precious ounces from a coupla
brewskis, and then weezas were off.
The trail ran downhill along a dirt road, which we quickly left for some
thin shiggy near a small stream. We kinda lost the trail for a little while,
but soon theorized that since we were facing a huge leafy/ muddy incline
that it left us no choice but to go UP! This scene was to be repeated many,
many times over the course of the "50 minute trail" which we covered in two
hours, but let me not transgress.
We ran hither and thither following and checking falses and true trail, but
eventually made our way to a larger stream, crossed either thru water or
across a slippery metal bridge that had no decking. It was a nice location
near a small reservoir. Here again was a stumbling block for the pack.
Madame Flutterby and Throbbing Member had spied a backcheck past the bridge,
but this caused the pack a delay while we searched for the elusive trail.
The trail zigged and zagged up and down ravines and across some streams,
till a long downhill section thru some pines that led to another stream
crossing. The trail sortof made a hair pin turn on itself here, and as
Madame Flutterby, Throbbing Member and Hand Job had already crossed a
stream, they shouted that they saw the trail cross back towards where I was
with NFN Tim. On-On, so we ran up hill , enjoying our brief moments as
FRBs,across some ass-fault and discovered a "Stairway to Hell". This was a
vertical set of stairs made of rocks that led up a steep incline under some
power lines. Throbbing Member and Madame zoomed up these stairs, as I waited
for NFN Tim and Hand Job to catch up. It was here that we had the first
inklings of a GRAVE INJUSTICE! Apparently at the hairpin turn,a BEER NEAR
had been sighted but not pursued sufficiently, and woid was not passed to
the rest of the pack of this discovery. This was a tremendous shock to the
morale of new cummer, NFN Tim, who while gasping for breath, was solaced
along the trail with affirmations of, " Don't worry there will be beer ahead
soon".
The trail continued this way and that as the light of day continued to drain
from the sky faster than my pre-Hash beer buzz. It was getting really dark
at this point. We got to another check point near some overturned cars along
the trail, and it was about here, or a little further that we just couldn't
see the marks anymore because of darkness.Little did we know that salvation
and brewskis were just up the trail near that previously mentioned
reservoir.
The pack concluded that since we knew where the Hares lived, that we would
abort the mission and escape and evade back to their house and hold their
beers hostage until they returned. We walked out of the shiggy and onto a
hardtop and had about, I don't know maybe a half mile, or mile walk back to
the SP.At this point NFN Tim, WHO WAS STONE COLD SOBER! ejected himself
mumbling about what a great time he had, and that he'd like to try it again.
Hand Job immediately had a vision in which the Hash handle " Tormented "
came to mind for NFN Tim's eventual naming.
Commo with the Hares was established after we had penetrated their homes
defenses. We proceeded to kill the hostage beers until the Hares return ( No
Mercy or Quarter was shown to the hostages!) Mothers Little Douchebag joined
in on the on-afters festivities at about this point.
Cainus Lickus and C.O.V. assuaged the mumblings of the pack;
( "Kill The Wabbits" and "Those Bastards!" seemed to be the most popular
rants) with lots of brews and a platter of wings from the Hangar.
This Hash had some pretty darn good trail, but also had some strange things
too.
Lessons learned: 1.) Missing a beer check really sucks! 2.) One should be
properly pre-lubed before the Hash, cause you never know when you might suck
down your next beer. 3.) Missing a beer check REALLY SUCKS! and number four,
4.) MISSING A BEER CHECK REALLY SUCKS!!!!
Recorded this 15th day of June, 2002
Your Most Humble Servant,
Francis J. Wedemeyer
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