Happy Valley Number 125. Saturday 8/13/05

Co-Hares: Yeasty Boy and Just Jen with an assist from Just Steve.

( A note here about Just Steve and the "Traveling Keg-a-lator." The traveling keg-a-lator closely resembled a 1982 Mercedes Benz. However on close examination one could not help but notice the tap on the back rear corner of the quarter panel. Said tap dispensed ice cold Tap Brews. Those twicky hares...)

The Pack: Cainus Lickus, Comes On Vacation, Gag Me With A Res-Erection, Anti-Cock

Visitors: IMEZRU?,Puff 'n Stuff, Drippy Spigot, Nipples Erectus, Sponge Bath Square Pants,Friar F#%k, Cock Climber, Cums Alone - All Boston Wankers.
Mr. Bean, Eakan Bean (Don't know if I spelled that one right) and two hashers under 4 feet tall whose names I didn't catch. - All Tidewater Wankers.

I think I'm forgetting somebody or two, so If you're not listed here make me do a down down or two/three...Oops, and Hash hounds were: Shitty Trail , Zuni, and Scruffy.

Trail started at the Tap Brewery in Haverhill above the beautiful banks of the Merrimac River. It was a brutally hot and humid saturday in the Northeast but luckily starting at a brewery has its own special merits, pint after pint, after, pint. As we early birds awaited the arrival of HST we mosied on into the Tap and sampled our way thru their Beers, Ales, Lagers, Weizens, and Porters. A fine young female Tap Puller gave me and Puffy a flight of samplers which we shared with all the other hashers. The Tap Puller graciously gave us that one on the house. We then sampled some pints. Having warmed up appropriately enough for the trail we returned outside where the effects of leaving air conditioning and 11% alcohol beers took its immediate effect on our half-minds.

This is where we first glimpsed the "traveling Keg-a-lator" disguised as an innocent looking Mercedes Benz. COV RA'ed the introductions and Yeasty Boy slopped some chalk on the ground to explain his hash marks. And then it was away for the hare in the Kilt.

I don't think we sang anything while we waited, it was 11% alcohol beer ya see, anyway, we waited about ten minutes and the pack was off. It was immediately apparent that where we had been may have been hot and sticky, but at least there was a slight breeze off the river; stinky as it may have been. But once we hit downtown Haverhill and all the assfault and concrete, it was brutally hot! Trail went past some old warehouses and factories, and we hit a couple checks, but then true trail was spotted under some railroad tracks. We soon emerged up on the tracks and later someone told me we crossed a trestle ala Stand By Me, but I don't remember the trestle, it was 11% alcohol beer ya know...

We left the tracks and slid down the embankment and ran up a street filled with chop shops and pawn shops. Trail went behind an old building, up a small steep slope and lo and behold, there was the Mercedes/Keg-a-lator in the middle of a cemetery. We quaffed some brews and drank some water and I think we sang a hash song or two, I'm not sure though because, did I mention already?, It was like high octane beer.

Before the hare left he explained that there would be a turkey/eagle split as soon as we left the beer check. One would involve a swim and the other wouldn't. Eagle did, Turkey didn't. Your scribe opted for the swim as did Cainus Lickus, Puff 'N Stuff and Drippy Spigot. There was steep slope off the cemetery and down to a very brown, deep stream/ river. Fording the water wasn't bad we either swam it, or whatever, but getting out it was all deep sucking mud. So the water was refreshing, but you immediately got covered in slimby mud. But that mud was nuthin' compared to the swampy black mud that Puffy plowed thru after the river. He cautioned the rest of us around it. Then trail led into a field of knee high raspberries and poison ivy. [Special thanks here to the hare. As I sit here and scratch at my legs covered in scratches and poison ivy!!!!!!!!] As we exited the field back onto the train tracks we were greeted by the hare who handed us a Grolsh bottle. I should have known better because the bottle was hot to the touch, but I took a decent sized swig only to discover it was Jack Daniels!

Trail led back up the train tracks, thru some woods, up a slope, and BACK TO THE KEG-A-LATOR! Yea! This wasn't so bad. We eagles thought "how tricky, now the turkeys will have some long trail and will meet us back here." But that wasn't the case. We got an extra beer check on top of the Jack Daniels, but we had to run to catch up to the pack. We never caught up till the next beer check.

Eventually there was another beer check or two, it all kinda blends together, it was 11% beer afterall. We circled up and down downs were had by all. The usual stuff, visitors, DFL, FBI, accusations, that kind of stuff. I got awarded the hashit, but it is missing in action. I suppose somebody will be posting a ransom notice sooner or later.

Then we went back to Yeasty Boy's and Just Jens for some more beers and stuff.

Next hash will be Saturday, August 20th. It will begin at Beacon Field in Greenfield at 1400HRs or so (HST) Beacon Field is easiest found by getting off Route Two and traveling as far as the Franklin Medical Center on High Street. Take a turn onto either Sanderson Street or Beacon Street (Towards the ridge) Park under a shady tree and look for hasher types. Bring a change of clothes. On In will be at Gag Me's with a BBQ.

That's The Way It Was! Cause I say So, and because nobody else writes these damn things,
Respectfully Submitted by Yer Scribe,

AC
HVH3
ps Yeasty & Jen sorry 'bout Hurling in your bathroom, but it was high octane beer...and I felt great the next day!

pps I have a vague memory of somebody doing belly shots outta my gut and making a remark it was like a double shot