Ouch, Oh the Depravity!

Where to begin or end this one? That is the question. Usual hash trash format I suppose.
( First of all that's not me in Puffy's fotos; that's my evil twin Jack...)

Happy Valley No. 117

Place: The Big Dark Scary Woods of Wendell, Mass.
Sunday, May 29th, 2005

Hare: Dewey Do Me! ( Her virgin lay)

The Pack:

Happy Valley: Cainus Lickus, Comes On Vacation, Anti-Cock, Madame Flutterby, Yeasty Boy, Just Jen, Yeast Injector, Just Donna, Cajonas, & Wet Spot ( A Wonson, Korea H3 transplant.)

Visitors:
From The Boston H3: Cums Alone, Cock Climber, Puff 'N Stuff, Nipples Erectus,
Drippy Spigot, Muffalotta.

From The Hartford H3: Garfield, High Bush

From The Halve Mein H3: Peace O Chum

From The Westchester H3: Tubslut

Late Cummer: Just Mike No.3 - Happy Valley H3

The festivities actually started with a saturday night pre-lube, lots of people opting to camp over at the farm. Jack Daniels crashed the party early and stayed long enuf to get everybody trashed playing Jenga with shots. When we ran out of single barrel Jack, Puffy and Chum made a huge batch of fruity jello shots. Things for the rest of saturday night get kinda fuzzy...

Sunday morning Flutter and I made a NH Jack Daniels run only to discover a place in Gill had it.

Most hashers arrived by 1500 HRS, which wasn't so bad considering HST was supposed to be 1400HRS. At least the rain clouds parted and brilliant sunshine greeted us for the trail.

The introductions circle was marred by the return of Jack, who somebody or other mentioned is a Happy Valley tradition. The bottle of Black Label Jack made it around the circle one and a half times before Jack made his exit.

Something funny that happened in the circle was that Cajonas' girlfriend was here for her first Happy Valley hash. I didn't catch if Cajonas thought she'd never hashed before, or if he was just flat out surprised when she announced that she already had a hash name and was a veteran Korea Hasher.

The hare asked for a ten minute cranium start and I guess because of the effects of Jack I never saw her leave. We started right into Father Birmingham and then slid right into Joe, Who Works at the Button Factory. At about this time the Jack Attack gave everybody a full body slam. Then it was "Pack Away!" Trail went north on some assfault to a check that almost the entire pack missed. It took about ten minutes, but everybody followed true trail west into the woods alongside an old sheep pasture. I was sweeping trail so from here on its that perspective that you get.

Trail at the beginning had about 15 checks in the first half mile, which was also dense shiggy. This resulted in the pack staying together, which was a good thing because alot of people were really trashed. True trail jogged south alongside an old cow pasture then thru some shiggy onto an old logging trail. Trail then proceeded past a porcupine den, alongside a stream to the first booze check. ( The pack kinda lost trail and found the "out trail" but by sweeping it got turned around all right). The Booze check turned out to be a gallon of Blackberry brandy and some waters. Somebody suggested that the FRBs couldn't leave until the brandy was kicked. So, it was.

I started to cross a stream below a huge beaver dam when I happened to look over my shoulder to see if people were following me. I turned in time to see Just Jen take a face first dive into the stream. Puffy appeared to be walking in circles talking to himself or the trees. Just Donna was speaking gibberish, and it occured to me that this would be an interesting trail. Luckily, Wetspot, Nipples Erectus and Drippy Spigot were still sober enough ( barely enough, but enough) to guide those afflicted hashers back to the SP. I took off on a zen trail to where the next beer check should've been. I figured I'd have time to catch the FRBs because I knew Dewey had laid a deceptive back check somewhere along the trail.

By the time I reached the Bullard Farm Road ( abandoned road) I ran into ( I think) Garfield and High Bush and some other people who opted to shortcut back to the SP ( I think that happened, I could certainly be wrong on that, I was feeling the effects too.) I actually ran down and up Bullard Farm Rd. to the beer check, but alas! IT WAS GONE!!!! The FRBs had taken the beer with them. After some RUs? and some other choice phrases I caught up to the FRBs and after some beers we decided to back trail out of the woods back to the SP.

We had the closing circle on the deck, I think? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Yeasty Boy twisted his ankle really badly on the trail back to the SP. He was in excruciating pain so we kept administering Genesee Cream Ale in medicinal quantities to him. Coincidentally, Just Jen was horizontal for the entire circle. Just Donna was passed out during the circle but arose later as did Just Jen. For the life of me I can't remember Jack about the rest of the circle.

OR about the rest of the evening! Things not necessarily in this order: Hot Tub, Cheeseburgers in Paradise, tunes, Sheep Dip, Cognac, Hot Tub, Tub Slut, a Mythical stalker that only Flutter saw, Puffy the Voyeur taking illicit photos, magic markers and Puffy's Ass, and then,

It was the morning! Breakfast, visitors helping clean up, etc.

Flutter it was a classic Happy Valley welcum home party. You better wear your kevlar undies while yer over there!

Next HVH3 hash will be a Thursday nighter on June 9th, Hare, Place and time TBA.
Burlington is in July and,

Buffet IV is in two weeks!

AC
HVH3