Happy Valley Hash No. 113
“The Charlie Foxtrot Hash”
Sunday, March 6, 2005
The Happy Valley Kennel had to Hash this past Sunday! The pre-ordained Hare had cum up with an unbelievable tale of woe and snarled communication. This left the kennel no choice but to brave the wilds of downtown Northampton for a “Return of the Pick-Up Hash”
The Pack:Anti-Cock, Cajonas, Colonel Mustard, Comes On Vacation, Dewey Do Me! Hand Job? And Yeasty Boy.
Visitor: Follow My Tits – Hartford H3
Visitor & Virgin: NFN Bob from Minneapolis but now in Hartford.
We all met at 1400HRs at the Starbucks on Main Street in Northampton. Procedures for a pick up hash were explained, then everyone was given a penny. Last hasher to toss a “Tail” would be hare. The field narrowed down quickly to Dewey, Yeasty, and FMT. FMT was next out leaving two potential virgin hares to toss it out. Dewey, with trembling fingers, tossed a “Head” Then Yeasty tossed the winning tail. He made some comment about being a fugitive from the laws of Probability or something then begged for a ten minute cranium start. He was anointed with the flour and chalk and was off.
The pack stood by while a nasty little snow squall enveloped us rather quickly. We sang some songs and did introductions and explained hash marks to Virgin Bob.
Trail proceeded west on Main Street and then did a right turn onto the labyrinth of streets that lie behind Main Street. Hash marks quickly were covered by the blowing snow from the squall. The marks were discernable though. The waskully wabbitt managed to successfully cross his own trail without losing too many hashers.
Eventually, as all good trails must, we followed the marks to a Brewery. In this case it was the Northampton Brewery. We had some down downs and after awhile Dewey and FMT showed up. Somehow they never lost trail, but managed to cum in about ten minutes after everyone else. ( They had been FRBs but I never saw myself pass them? )
The Hare hadn’t yet been snagged so he was off again and laid trail to the Roundhouse parking lot behind the Academy of Music. He had a pre -stashed cache of beer in Growlers there and that was also where the down down beers were located. Cajonas had been FRB to the circle but was nowhere to be found for a little while. Turns out he had scored some trail porn from Hobos living under an overpass. Surprisingly he didn’t recruit them for the hash.
As we began the circle Col. Mustard decided to go for a spin in his Hash Wagon. Dewey snared him before he rolled out of the parking lot.
The usual antics were faithfully followed and the hare, virgin, backsliders, and visitors all did down downs. We learned a little bit about Virgin Bob. If on that magic bus ride he would “Get Off” His favorite sexual position is doggy style with an inflatable sheep. His favorite barnyard animal is a goat, but wasn’t sure if he preferred Nubians or Alpines. He’s quite a mathematical fellow and knew that the square root of 69 is about “Ate point one three” The Harriettes were impressed that he knew it was “ate something.” Turns out that he also has spent some time in Subs, but luckily for him the name “Packed Fullah Semen” has already been lavished on “Packie”
Circle continued for awhile, spring cobwebs were dusted off for some more songs and then it was time for Hash religion.
The On In was held in the old back room of Packard’s.
Faithfully Submitted,
Da Scribe, Anti-Cock
HVH3
Next Hash:
Saturday, March 26th
Belchertown Common
Hare: I believe is COV or Spred ‘um or both.
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